And the winner is...

Well folks, it's time to bring our latest Erasable Pen Reader Challenge to a merciful close. We let this contest run for a couple months, in part because I was too lazy to update the blog, but also because my wife was leading the competition for a while. She'll be the first to tell you that I rarely laugh out loud (LOL) when she speaks, so it would seem somewhat disingenuous for me to hand her the prize. Instead I had to wait for someone else to enter the contest. Thankfully Jill Aki did, and she's our winner!

Rather than just sending Jill the Hickory Farms catalog we had promised as the first-place prize, we decided to go ahead and actually order her something from the catalog. Here's Jill with her haul!


You see, it pays to enter the Erasable Pen Readers Challenge! To recap, we asked our faithful readers to explain what Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales was appealing for in his recent flurry of banner ads. Here's an example of the ads Wales was running:


Jill's winning entry?: "skoal - always there in a pinch"

Yeah, I don't know what it means either. But somebody had to win.

Reader Challenge: What does Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales really want?

If you've spent any time on Wikipedia lately, you're probably quite familiar with these perfectly-lit photographs of the site's founder Jimmy Wales. Jimmy is making a personal appeal to us, but from the look of these images it's hard to know what exactly he wants. Thankfully, that's what Erasable Pen Reader Challenges are for! What do YOU think Jimmy wants? Please provide your answers in the comments section, preferably in the voice of Jimmy Wales. The winner will receive a free copy of the 2010 Hickory Farms catalog.

To get things started, here's what I think might be on Jimmy's mind:

Do you think I'd make a good high school health teacher?
Please say yes.

I'm thinking of starting a Radiohead cover band.
Is it OK if we practice in your basement?

The mathematical impossibilities of How I Met Your Mother

When you own an outdated television set that only picks up three channels, every show gets placed under the microscope. This week I've decided to direct my gaze at How I Met Your Mother. And by "direct my gaze" I mean recognize that the show exists and pass judgment without having ever seen it.

So let's get started! OK, well, from what I can gather this show is all about a father sitting down and telling his children the story of how he met their mother. As he's recounting this story at their bedside, actors recreate momentous scenes from the courtship on screen. Unfortunately this seemingly innocent premise has a tremendous flaw: It's not sustainable. Think about it, this show is mathematically impossible.

Let me explain. So How I Met My Mother is in, what, its 7th season now? Say there are, oh I don't know, 20 episodes per season, and each episode is 30 minutes long. So that means each season technically covers 10 hours. Multiply that by 7 seasons and now we're talking about 70 hours of show all together. 70 hours! That's a seriously epic bedtime story this father is telling his kids. Are you picking up what I'm putting down?! At this point, the father in How I Met Your Mother has literally kept his kids up for 70 straight hours telling this story! Who can sustain a story for that long? Bill Cosby? Maybe? I'm pretty sure Bill Cosby is not the narrator in How I Met Your Mother, and even if he was I still doubt the kids would stay awake for the entire story. Yeah, no, this show just doesn't add up. Sorry folks. I ain't buyin' it.

The sleeping arrangement in Medium

Anybody seen this show Medium? I don't get it. I mean, I understand the lady with the bangs has special powers that allow her to talk to dead people and solve mysteries in her sleep. Seems reasonable enough. What I don't get is why her husband puts up with her waking him up every night to tell him about her dreams. If I'm him I'm thinking "Seriously? It's 3 am and you're going to wake me up so I can listen to you yammer on about some freaky dream? Every single night of our now 12-year marriage?"

Things are so bad, dude doesn't even bother putting on his PJs anymore.

Sure, he'll complain a little bit. But then the next night it just happens again and nothing ever changes. Here's an idea. Buy your wife a moleskin notebook and tell her to write down her dreams rather than rudely shaking you awake every night. That way she can get everything down on paper and wait 'til breakfast to tell you about it. I guarantee her stories will be more enjoyable when you have a bowl of cereal and a sports page in front of you.

New Series! - Judging Judge Parker

Today we're kicking off an exciting new series called "Judging Judge Parker." You know Judge Parker. It's one of those comic strips that's been running since the dawn of time, with an ongoing plot that's impossible to follow unless you're one of the select few who actually makes a point to read it every day. Who has that kind of time?!

Well, here at Erasable Pen we're going to do our best to make things easy on you. Every three months or so we'll present you with the most recent edition of Judge Parker, and then we'll attempt to fill in the gaps between the current strip and what happened the last time we checked in on the ol' Judge (is Judge Parker even one of the characters? Has anyone ever actually seen him in one of these things?). This is a much more realistic way of reading the comic strip, and hopefully together we'll be able to make some sense of it all.

To get things started, here's today's Judge Parker:

What the f***??????!!!!

Loose Meats Sink Ships

Oh 4th o' July. You sweet summertime songbird. Never failing to lure us in with your promise of grilled food products, hazardous explosives and really really slow-moving parades. This year is very exciting because the ol' 4th o' Jeezy falls on a Sunday, which means most of us get Monday off, which in turn means we can eat and drink as much as we want before, during and after those fireworks blow up in the faces of our respective showboating neighbors, and then still have a full day to recover. So what's on your July 4 menu? Rather than the usual dogs and burgers, might I suggest Loose Meat Sandwiches?

Hot d*mn that looks TASTY! I'm sure you're all familiar with Sloppy Joes, but did you know there's a whole family of Loose Meat Sandos? The difference with the Sloppy J is the ketchup is mixed in with the meat. A traditional Loose Meat Sandwich just features a heaping pile of unseasoned ground beef on a bun. Dress it up as you wish!

In the Middle West, they call this a Tavern Sandwich. The pile of pebbly beef is usually mixed with seasoned onions, then topped with veggies (i.e. pickles, mustard and ketchup).

History buffs should also note that prior to the birth of the Tavern Sandwich and its cousin Sloppy Joe, there was the Maid-Rite. The Maid-Rite is the first Loose Meat Sandwich in recorded history. It was the brainchild of an Iowa butcher named Fred Angell who, in 1926, opened the doors to a new quick-service restaurant in Muscatine called, you guessed it, Maid-Rite.

How do I know all of this? Wikipedia.

Happy 4th errrybody!

Sully Sullenberger - the hero with the suspiciously catchy name

I've been thinking a lot about Sully Sullenberger lately. Cause for concern? Not hardly. The guy has such a punchy name I just can't get him out my head. But you have to wonder, would this man still be making headlines (or randomly showing up in my dreams) if he didn't have such a memorable moniker?

Brief history lesson (not that you need one): Sully Sullenberger is the dude who safely landed US Airways Flight 1549 in the Hudson river after a flock of birds disabled both engines. His crazy mad flying skills saved the lives of 155 passengers.

Yeah, it would have been an impressive feat even if his name wasn't Sully Sullenberger. But let's be real. There's no way we'd still be talking about this guy if his name was, say, Ted Reynolds. In fact, we would've forgotten all about him within 30 minutes of his heroic touchdown. Seriously, that's a fact.

All I'm saying is, if you're considering having kids, please give the child a super catchy name. You'll increase your chances of someday meeting Oprah tenfold.

And now I'd like to leave you with some of my favorite images of Sully Sullenberger enjoying his much-deserved hero status.

Hangin' with Oprah!

Gracing the cover of People!

Dubbed "The Last Aviator"!

Tossing out the first pitch at a Yankees game!

Peddling his own book!

Always keeping a fresh-faced philly on each arm!