Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Introducing the McGrillers Salad

I've had some pretty brilliant ideas lately.

Check this out.

You know how everyone loves those grill marks on the Burger King Whopper? Well, what if there was an even healthier alternative to the flame-broiled hamburger that retained the aesthetically pleasing grill marks?

Allow me to introduce you to the McGrillers Salad.

Vanessa Rehder of Antelope Baby Industries was kind enough to put together this illustration of my vision.

Notice the grill marks on the lettuce leaves? Those tasty streaks lock in the flavor, and ensure that your salad is grilled, not fried. I'm thinking there could also be a version with bacon for the truly health-conscious.

The McGrillers Salad. I'm lovin' it!

Monday, April 28, 2008

BACON CHALUPA GUY UPDATE: Reader weighs in on Rusty Joiner, Tony Sirico, and the battle for acting's greatest prize

While sorting through my pile of fan mail over the weekend, I came across a timely letter from faithful Erasable Pen reader Brian Woznicki.

Brian writes...

"god bless you for making aware, and moreover, giving propers to, the brilliance of Rusty Joiner's now-legendary performance in the Taco Bell Bacon Chalupa Spot. But, don't go handing out that Oscar just yet, as my vote is for the disgusted/disdainful reaction shot courtesy of Tony Sirico in the newest Denny's commercial in which he ties a competitor's restaurant sign to the back of his car and rips it off the sign post. Said reaction shot comes after Sirico asks an employee if the image on the sign is a grand slam breakfast. The employee says "no," and Tony shoots daggers with a smirk so potent it actually made me consider eating at Denny's."

Forgive me Brian. I realize this was a huge oversight on my part. Tony Sirico, while clearly nothing more than a poor man's Rusty Joiner, does indeed kill it in this Denny's ad.

Folks at home, take a look:

Color me impressed. From now on I'll think twice before I start handing out awards willy nilly.

Friday, April 25, 2008

And the Oscar should go to... that dude from the Taco Bell Bacon Club Chalupa commercial

2007 was a great year for actors on both the big and the small screen. We witnessed standout performances by Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood, Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men, and Charlie Sheen in the 14th season of Two and a Half Men. But 2008 is shaping up to be even better, and this year's finest acting exhibition, without a doubt, comes courtesy of that dude in the Taco Bell Bacon Club Chalupa ad. You know the one: girls saddle up to the bar, pull out a purse with a Bacon Club Chalupa TM inside, three dudes gravitate towards its delicious aroma, and then this happens...

"What is that you're wearing? It's, it's, it's intoxicating."

Don't know what I'm talking about? Check out this clip:

I was so blown away by the brilliant delivery of the "intoxicating" line that I had to hunt down the actor responsible. Two things became abundantly clear during my extensive research:
  1. The Internet is an amazing tool.
  2. There are plenty of people out there who are as bored as I am.
After a quick google search for "that dude from the bacon chalupa ad," it was only a matter of minutes before my question was answered. It seems this guy is the talk of the NET. Discussion groups and user forums all across the world wide web have been working for weeks to track down his identity.

So who is this fantastic actor?

Answer: Rusty Joiner.

I know. I didn't believe it at first either. But when I closed my eyes and courageously followed the link provided by a Yahoo Answers discussion about Rusty, it led me not to a porn site, but rather to his Internet Movie Database page. Photos like this one proved that Rusty Joiner is a real person, and the amazing actor in the Bacon Club Chalupa ad. Mystery solved.