Saturday, May 25, 2013

Introducing Purell Instant Body Sanitizer

You know when you go out to dinner and somehow end up at one of those wings places? And then you eat a bunch of wings and you just feel like you need to take a shower afterwards? But you're in a restaurant so there's probably no place to actually take a shower? Or how about those times when you ride your bike to work and it's a hot summer day and it's all uphill, and you're wearing slacks and a button-up shirt because you're not quite committed enough to bike riding to actually have a separate outfit for the task? You know those times? And then you arrive at the office and you're just sopping, but also you think it's kind of weird to shower at work, so you're just stuck there feeling sweaty and uncomfortable? And what about those times when you pay a seemingly innocent visit to your sister-in-law's house, but then your adorable niece and nephew want to draw on your face with magic markers and toss a bunch of glitter in your hair, and they probably want to climb all over you too, and you spend the next five hours on edge and running for your life? Once again you find yourself beet red and drenched in sweat and glitter, but not in a position where it makes sense to put the rest of the day on hold to go take a shower. Man, we're really up a creek here, aren't we? Actually, not really. Thanks to my latest invention.

Actual size.

It's called Instant Body Sanitizer. It's like Instant Hand Sanitizer, but in a bigger bottle. Just find a quiet corner, preferably someplace out of sight, strip down, put a few squirts all over your body and lather up. You can get a friend to help you if you want. The key is to make sure you get a decent amount of sanitizer on every inch of your body. Don't worry, it dries fast but you'll want to rub it in. And just like that, you're all fresh and clean and ready to carry on with your business. No shower, no problem. Now that's convenience. Glad I could help.

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