Thursday, June 26, 2008

Reader Challenge: If you could name a toilet seat cover company, what would it be called?

I work in a fairly typical office environment, at least for the kind of office that’s located in a business park. We have a nifty access control system, plush grey cubicles, particle board ceilings, and two sets of bathrooms. Now, we all know it’s important to take a break every now and then at work. For the smokers this is easy, but for the non-smokers it can be a little more difficult to come up with ways to relax. I often choose to take some extra time in the bathroom. There’s plenty of good reading material in there, most notably the packaging for the toilet seat covers. For a long while, our office was loyal to a toilet seat cover company with the remarkable name of “Yours Alone.”

But more recently we switched to an upstart outfit called “Rest Assured.” At first I was a bit upset, but then I realized Rest Assured is a pretty amazing name in its own right.

This got me thinking, if I owned a toilet seat cover company, what would I call it? Here are a few quick ideas I came up with:

1. Sit Tight
2. Paper Throne
3. Squat and Deliver
4. It's a Safe Bet Somebody Probably Peed On There TM

Now it’s your turn! Please use the comments section to post your ideas. The winning toilet seat cover name will be featured prominently in a future Erasable Pen blog entry, and its creator will receive a 1-year modeling contract with Clinique along with a full-page photo spread in Seventeen magazine.


WOZ said...

I have multiple submissions...

1. Chester H. McGillicutty's Olde Tyme Ass Mats
2. a la Commode
3. Safe Drop
4. Blissful Surrender
5. Butt Of Course
6. Toilet Shields
7. Aids Be Gone


Dan Lurie said...

Very nice WOZ! Each of your suggestions will receive strong consideration. I've also added a new one to my list:

It's a Safe Bet Somebody Probably Peed On There TM

Antelope Baby Industries said...

My submission, although, I think this only applies to women since men don't need toilet seat covers when they pee.

"Don't wipe the seatie and still be a sweetie." OR
"Be a sweetie and don't wipe the seatie."

I'm not sure which one is better. I'm also not sure if it's "seatie" or "seaty"

julia said...

might i suggest the always dependable "crapper cappers" or the higher end offering, "bottoms' barely there" with enhanced two-ply technology, for ultimate comfort.

Dom said...

This thought provoking topic inspired me in a few different directions:

1. Asses to Ashes (Our seat covers made from the bark of pure Ash trees.)

Or, for a consumer base with a more literary taste:

1. Love in the Time of Cholera
2. Snow Falling on Cedars

Or try something from our limited edition Shakespearean series titled 'Theatre in the Round':

1. To Pee or Not to Pee
2. The Tempest
3. Much Ado About Nothing

And finally for, ahem, shits and giggles, I submit my 'word verification' code for making this post, which, oddly enough, isn't actually a word in any language spoken on planet Earth and yet does sound like something associated with the excretory system:

1. cweuiigi (immediately followed by the little handicap guy symbol)


Matt said...

Here's a few, but coming close to Chester H. McGillicutty's Olde Tyme Ass Mats is gonna be tough...

-Never mind the Buttocks
-Aunt Fanny's Sanitary Shields
-Tush Time Tissues
-Derriere Do Rights

AaronS said...

I'm still amazed by the name "Rest Assured." genius. The seat covers in my office are called "Discreat Seat." With that in mind, my list:

Excrete Seat
The Rimmer
The Great Barrier Reef
Kiss Me Lightly on the Cheeks
Cleveland Brand (TM) Steamers
Hairy Pooper and the Sorceror's Throne
King Kenneth Island
Fun Tube
Hairy Buffalo
Fecal Baby Baptismal Liners
Cap'n Dookers Fun Factory

AaronS said...


Take a load off Fanny

PDXMatt said...

Shiatz! Pronounced(Shee-otz) with great exclamation and excrement, or excitement that is.