Doritos Late Night Cheeseburger Noir

These streets aren't safe. Maybe they are. But they sure don't feel safe. I should have taken a cab when I had the chance. I wasn't ready though. Sometimes you just need another drink, and some strange company. That was strange alright. And now here I am, stumbling through the dark, trying to remember where everything went wrong.

It's a hard question to answer. I didn't plan on staying out late, but I was hungry. Real hungry. Hungry for what, I'm not sure. I guess I wanted adventure. Yeah, that's it. Adventure. Something out of the ordinary. Like, if my natural instinct was to go home and watch Season 3 of One Tree Hill on Netflix Instant, this time I'd do the complete opposite. So what is it? What's the most outrageous madness I could get into if I really wanted to ignore that little angel perched on my shoulder?

Would I drink myself silly? Yes, that's a start, but there'd have to be something more. Some sort of late night snack I could grab on my way home to really take it over the top. But not an ordinary snack. It'd be like a full meal, but in the form of a tortilla chip. You know? Something I could really pick up and throw down. Like, what if there was a chip that had the flavor of a cheeseburger, straight up. We're talking flame-broiled beef, mayonnaise, sesame seed bun, lettuce, tomato, american cheese, pickles, ketchup, mustard, the works, all right there in a bite-sized triangular chip. And I'd eat a full bag of that sh*t. Not like the little bag that's half full of air. Like a full-on family size bag of cheeseburger chips. And it would be late, real late. Late at night.

What if I could do something like that, just once? I bet that's what I was thinking.