Thursday, June 26, 2008

Reader Challenge: If you could name a toilet seat cover company, what would it be called?

I work in a fairly typical office environment, at least for the kind of office that’s located in a business park. We have a nifty access control system, plush grey cubicles, particle board ceilings, and two sets of bathrooms. Now, we all know it’s important to take a break every now and then at work. For the smokers this is easy, but for the non-smokers it can be a little more difficult to come up with ways to relax. I often choose to take some extra time in the bathroom. There’s plenty of good reading material in there, most notably the packaging for the toilet seat covers. For a long while, our office was loyal to a toilet seat cover company with the remarkable name of “Yours Alone.”


But more recently we switched to an upstart outfit called “Rest Assured.” At first I was a bit upset, but then I realized Rest Assured is a pretty amazing name in its own right.


This got me thinking, if I owned a toilet seat cover company, what would I call it? Here are a few quick ideas I came up with:

1. Sit Tight
2. Paper Throne
3. Squat and Deliver
4. It's a Safe Bet Somebody Probably Peed On There TM

Now it’s your turn! Please use the comments section to post your ideas. The winning toilet seat cover name will be featured prominently in a future Erasable Pen blog entry, and its creator will receive a 1-year modeling contract with Clinique along with a full-page photo spread in Seventeen magazine.

9 comments:

  1. I have multiple submissions...

    1. Chester H. McGillicutty's Olde Tyme Ass Mats
    2. a la Commode
    3. Safe Drop
    4. Blissful Surrender
    5. Butt Of Course
    6. Toilet Shields
    7. Aids Be Gone

    WOZ.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very nice WOZ! Each of your suggestions will receive strong consideration. I've also added a new one to my list:

    It's a Safe Bet Somebody Probably Peed On There TM

    ReplyDelete
  3. My submission, although, I think this only applies to women since men don't need toilet seat covers when they pee.

    "Don't wipe the seatie and still be a sweetie." OR
    "Be a sweetie and don't wipe the seatie."

    I'm not sure which one is better. I'm also not sure if it's "seatie" or "seaty"

    ReplyDelete
  4. might i suggest the always dependable "crapper cappers" or the higher end offering, "bottoms' barely there" with enhanced two-ply technology, for ultimate comfort.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This thought provoking topic inspired me in a few different directions:

    1. Asses to Ashes (Our seat covers made from the bark of pure Ash trees.)

    Or, for a consumer base with a more literary taste:

    1. Love in the Time of Cholera
    2. Snow Falling on Cedars

    Or try something from our limited edition Shakespearean series titled 'Theatre in the Round':

    1. To Pee or Not to Pee
    2. The Tempest
    3. Much Ado About Nothing

    And finally for, ahem, shits and giggles, I submit my 'word verification' code for making this post, which, oddly enough, isn't actually a word in any language spoken on planet Earth and yet does sound like something associated with the excretory system:

    1. cweuiigi (immediately followed by the little handicap guy symbol)

    Dom

    ReplyDelete
  6. Here's a few, but coming close to Chester H. McGillicutty's Olde Tyme Ass Mats is gonna be tough...

    -Never mind the Buttocks
    -Aunt Fanny's Sanitary Shields
    -Tush Time Tissues
    -Derriere Do Rights

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm still amazed by the name "Rest Assured." genius. The seat covers in my office are called "Discreat Seat." With that in mind, my list:

    Excrete Seat
    The Rimmer
    The Great Barrier Reef
    Roids-a-Danglin'
    Kiss Me Lightly on the Cheeks
    Cleveland Brand (TM) Steamers
    Hairy Pooper and the Sorceror's Throne
    King Kenneth Island
    Fun Tube
    Hairy Buffalo
    Fecal Baby Baptismal Liners
    Cap'n Dookers Fun Factory

    ReplyDelete
  8. also:

    Take a load off Fanny
    Sani-Plop

    ReplyDelete
  9. Shiatz! Pronounced(Shee-otz) with great exclamation and excrement, or excitement that is.

    ReplyDelete